Today I'm going to share my five important rules of life.
Success is a goal that everyone has. Whether it's in your personal, financial, or professional life, success in any area is probably a goal that you're striving for.
It doesn't matter what that success looks like. It could be as simple as getting along with the people in your life or finishing your work projects on time. We all want success and we work hard to achieve it in whatever form that takes.
Where we probably differ is how we get to that success. The path that you take to get there needs a roadmap.
The journey won't be easy. Nothing that's worth getting ever is. But it’s important to remember that how you get there is just as important as getting there.
Because, for example, you don't want to get successful by ruining other people and their lives. Too much of our society is built upon the ruination of others. Popular culture provides a whole bunch of examples where success is defined by the people you tear down. The more you tear down, the higher you can go.
No way.
Anyone whose lived even a little bit of life knows this isn't true. You reap what you sow and a move today that knocks someone down may come back to bite you down the line, often when you least expect it.
So it's really important to not only put together a framework to get to success, but to do so in an ethical and compassionate way. That way you'll multiply the wealth in your life and your heart. And that will make achieving your goal of success all that much sweeter.
So I've put together some rules that should be guiding principles as you go through life. Try to apply them no matter where you are in your journey. You'll find that the rules, or some variation, will help you in ways that won't seem obvious at first. Stick to them as much as you can.
These rules are very near and dear to my heart. I like to think of these rules as my absolute essential rules that I want to pass on to my two young boys.
These rules have helped me out in my life and I know they'll help you out in yours.
1 - Always Be A Student
Too many people walk around and think that their learning stopped once they finished school. I think that's weird. A lot of folks literally stop reading books and just give up on learning after they graduate from high school or college.
Huh?
That's just crazy to me. So my first rule is to always be a student in life, and of life.
One of the things that motivate me in life is learning about new things. Learning for me is the juice of life. It's what energizes me because growth comes from expanding your mind and your capacity. We work out our bodies, why don't we work out our minds as well?
You should be a lifelong student of this world if you are competitive or even if you're not.
If you're a competitive person, you should be learning because that extra knowledge will give you a leg up on everyone else. In your job, or in your personal life, you'll be the most educated person you can be and that should drive you to push past what everyone else is satisfied with.
If you're not a competitive person, but still want to learn what you like at your own pace, you should be a student at all times. By discovering those deep corners of knowledge that truly interest you, you'll be able to connect with other like-minded individuals. That approach to learning will make you healthier and happier because now you’re engaged with the humanity around you.
Some people act like they know everything. Man, do I feel sorry for those people. That's the beginning of the end, really. It's like a walking death.
When you're not seeking out new knowledge that means nothing fascinates you anymore. Nothing is interesting or exciting. And how can that be? There's lots of cool new information waiting to be learned. Technological advances happen almost daily. There are modern advances in science and new frontiers being discovered within the human body. There is always something exciting to add depth and wisdom to your understanding about the world.
Remember when you were a kid and the whole world was fascinating? Keep that curiosity alive in you as long as you can. That's life itself, an ever-expanding search for something bigger than you.
Be inquisitive. Ask questions of people that know more than you or are simply of another culture or way of life. You'll need to see other people's points of views to understand your own.
Life is so much better when you are always the student. Keep that student hat on and wear it with pride.
2 - Help Others
We live in a world where we're all connected. So basically what goes around, comes around. And helping others is important because somewhere along the line, someone helped you.
In my life, there's been so many times when I needed help. Growing up, junior high all through my early business years, I needed that leg up. I need someone to give me help, whether it was advice or a gentle push. Being helped is how we get through life.
No one is better example of this helping spirit than my seventh grade math teacher, Mrs. Dooley. She was the one who saw the potential in me and told me, "Jefferson, why don't you take this test to get into honors math?"
I didn't even really know what she meant. I guess she could see what I was capable of, even when I couldn't. I was, after all, in the seventh grade. What does any kid know in the seventh grade?
But I was doing okay in my schoolwork and I have always loved numbers. I love math, in fact. Mrs. Dooley sees this and gives me the nudge that turned out to be a great help.
I took the test, got an 88 on it, and was accepted into honors math.
Looking back, the actual number grade that I got was unimportant. What was more important was the how much it helped that a teacher like Mrs. Dooley was able to believe in me and transfer that confidence to me. After that I could truly believe in myself.
And all because she wanted to help me.
Later on in life there were times when I needed financial help. I'd have to borrow money from people and they were kind enough to help me out.
Guess what I do because of that? I pay it forward, which is an incredible feeling. Because right behind you are other people that are coming up and trying to make their way in the world. Help them out like you’ve been helped. Keep the cycle going.
Your help doesn't have to just be monetary, of course. Helping others, no matter how that happens, feels great. You could do simple things for your neighbors. You can take out their trash when they're out of town. You could something small, something that doesn't take too much time. Or you can do something big, something that takes a lot of time.
Whatever you can do to help, you'll quickly find that when you do, your heart sings with joy.
It sounds corny and kind of mushy, but when you turn helping into a habit and really work that muscle, you'll feel richer. You'll be richer in your capacity to be a fully realized human being.
Because it's not just about you. There's a large world out there and you're just a part of it. You have to do your part. Your little box and your little life means nothing if we can't help each other out.
To give in life is infinitely better than to take. Adding something is better than removing something. Help people out. Paying it forward leads to greater connection.
3 - See Things As They Could Be & Then Make It So
Here's a silly little scenario, and I want you to answer honestly. Imagine you're at a restaurant, and you happen to see something on the ground. It's a small piece of trash and people are stepping over it and around it.
Are you the type of person that walks by and ignores it because you think that it's the server’s job to pick it up? Or do you stop, reach down and pick it up to throw away into the trash?
We encounter examples like this on more times than we realize. There's what's in front of us and that's all that we deal with. But there's also what could be and that's just as important.
Let's say you're at your office. Maybe you're working on some project that includes everyone's hard work. It doesn't matter if it's a marketing project or a video or a presentation of some sort.
But it's not there yet.
You know it. There's something missing. It's good, but it’s not great. And that five o'clock whistle is about to blow, signaling that it's time to go home.
Are you the type of person who calls it a day? Or are you the type of person that says, "No way. It's not there yet. I know how it should be. Let's do this."
And those of you who are the second type of person know, because you probably do this with other things in your life, that putting in those extra hours and doing the extra work to get that right level of quality is a truly gratifying experience.
This also can apply to the relationships in your life. Have that vision for the relationship that you want with your spouse, and your children, and your family. And if, for some reason, it's not what you want, make it so.
The bottom line is that it's impossible to change people. People have their own ideas and agendas and points of view. But you can change you.
Change yourself to make the change around you that you want to see.
I know that's easier said than done. But start thinking this way and pretty soon, you won't be settling for anything less than the best in your life.
4 - Never Ever Give Up
It's easy to feel frustrated and give up on things.
Sometimes we fall short of our goals or an emotional experience makes us feel bad. When those things happen, it's only natural to want to abandon a project or approach altogether.
But don't. When you push through those first obstacles, great things await you on the other side.
Keep that initial excitement. It's an important feeling and a great motivator. Don't get distracted or discouraged.
There are so many examples of things in my life that I have because I didn't give up. There are times when I feel like something is impossible. There are times when I feel that something isn't going to work.
And when those feelings hit, I slow down and take it one day at a time.
I have people asking me all the time, "Jefferson, how have you gone from having a negative balance in your bank account to now having seven figures?" The answer is quite simple. I took it one day at a time.
I'm not talking one week at a time or planning for an entire year. I'm talking about breaking it down into the simplest smallest moments.
You live your life that way, right? You live moment to moment. So break it down and take it one day at a time and you'll stay motivated because you know that no matter what life throws at you, there's always tomorrow.
I'm not Superman, and neither are you. You won't leap any tall buildings in a single bound. You’ll need to make your way over it, slow and steady.
I see it all the time in bookstores and newspaper stands. There are a lot of magazines with massively photoshopped images on their covers. There are people that are starting to no longer resemble people. It's not real, but it's real to some people that see them.
But those images steal your joy and take away your motivation to go forward. How can you possibly measure up to that?
Don't give up. Push through those silly images and be the best person you can be. Push yourself and great things follow.
I had to be persistent in everything that I did. When I transferred from the Naval Academy to TCU, I bought every parachute in the East Bay catalog. I wanted to train with maximum resistance so that I could be the fastest runner I could be.
Upon arriving at TCU, I was truly afraid because I had to walk on for football and all the scholarships were gone. I was an unknown quantity to the team and to myself really. Did I have it in me to take my training to the next level? I needed to be in the best shape of my life.
For four grueling months, I took my body to the limit. I went to that track every day and worked with all kinds of training methods. I ran sprints. I ran with the parachute. I used straight shoes and platform shoes and all sorts of other crazy things.
I did that because I knew that I needed to prepare myself for the moment when the opportunity would present itself.
The result? I made that year’s team and now I was playing Division 1A football, which was an incredible world for me. I never gave up and neither should you.
Was I the fastest kid out there? Nope. But I had the biggest heart. And I brought along with me a huge work ethic that impressed everyone I encountered. I inspired teammates and felt deeply honored when they told me so.
I hit that weight room earlier than others and stayed a little later, too. You know who else did that? None other than LaDainian Tomlinson, top NFL running back, now retired. We'd be in that weight room together at TCU. We both never gave up until our dreams came true.
Never ever give up.
As you're approaching that finish line, you'll find that the resistance you encounter will be the hardest it’s ever been. The obstacles will seem insurmountable. You'll want to give up because doing so is less work and feels good.
Fight that. Professionals prepare themselves for that final temptation to quit.
You should, too.
5 - Honor People
The final rule is to honor people because everyone has their story. Everyone struggles and that struggle should be treated as the noble endeavor that it is.
Let's take you. I don't know you. And I don't know the vast majority of people that are out there. But I honor everyone I meet. They're fellow travelers on the journey. And the journey is hard and long and exhausting.
One of the easiest things you can do when you meet someone is to instantly build a rapport with them by asking them about their lives. It's a refreshing behavior the will both expand and humble you at the same time.
I ask people all the time: What's your story? What's going on with you? Where did you grow up? What happened for you to get here?
When I get those answers and I learn about people's lives, it's transformative. Some of the stories I've heard bring me to tears. Some of these stories inspire me. It's truly incredible to hear these stories that seem almost like great novels.
Here's another part of that idea of honoring lives that I want you to think about. When you're driving down a road and somebody cuts you off, you have no idea why that happens.
I know I usually jump all over them in my mind. I get mad. We all do. I've done this quite often. But have you stopped to ask yourself what it could mean? And by that I mean, what is happening in that person's life?
Could that person be rushing their baby to the hospital during some sort of emergency? Maybe. We just don't stop and think about that person as a person. We only think about their impact on our lives and how they've momentarily inconvenienced us.
Rather than jump on someone and assume they're out to get you (newsflash, they're not), how about finding out what's going on with them? You'd be surprised how quickly people open up and start sharing their experience with you when you simply ask, "Are you okay?"
Here's the thing to remember: people go through many things and stages in their lives. And it's always helpful to remember that everyone has their good moments and bad.
Hey, we're all on this big blue planet together. It's not like we can fly off onto some other planet and start fresh, right? We're in this world together and we have to honor each other.
We are people. We just have each other. We should honor each other.
It may be a lost value here in America, but I don't see it lost as much when I travel to other countries. I've been around the world and I'm always impressed when I encounter a culture where honor is strong. Where people operate honoring each other, there is greater trust among people. Where there is trust, business moves at a much faster pace.
When honor is not there...oh boy. No honor means no respect. And no respect means that there's no trust. And if somehow there is no trust, believe me, business happens very slowly. The relationships between people crumble and disintegrate.
Relationships are the essence of our existence. That's what life is all about.
When you honor people you strengthen your relationship to the people around you on this planet. That gets the juice in life going for you and it increases the juice in life for the people you're communicating with.
And people will become drawn to you because you honor their lives.
So to review, always be a student. Strive to learn as much as you can every day for the rest of your life. Help others. Your life will become noticeably better when you help others. See things as they could be and then make it so. Take control of your life and the things that encourage your motivation. But never give up. Think about the person you want to be and don’t give up until you become that person. And finally honor people because they are going through something and that journey deserves your respect.
These five rules will put you on the path to success. I've tried to incorporate them here for you into as many areas of life as I can, but you'll need to apply them to the specifics of your life’s journey. Take them to heart and be mindful of doing them daily.
Over time, they'll become second nature to you. And you'll surely notice what a difference you've made in your life and path to happiness.
I hope these rules have encouraged you and are going to help you arrive at your intended destination healthy, wealthy, and happy.
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